On Any Saturday...

August 25, 2012 - It was a sunny Saturday morning and I was thinking about going for a quick run before my kids’ high school football scrimmage. I decided to relax and make some breakfast instead. I made a tasty two-egg omelette with a mix of mostly cheddar and a touch of mozzarella; and I was cooking 6 strips of bacon on the grill - 3 for me, not too crispy, and 3 more for my wife, on the crispy side.

I had just taken a bite of bacon, when I asked my wife how she wanted her bacon (already knowing the answer but trying to spread the love). My words came out as though my head was two feet off to the right and a little slurred. Could I have some sort of pork-induced food poisoning? I don’t recall eating any poisonous mushrooms - no mushrooms at all in fact (clearly I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order).

The left side of my body felt numb as I quickly moved to the easy chair across the room and advised my wife that something was wrong. My words got more and more slurred as she called 911. It was a total out-of-body experience. No pain whatsoever.

7 Minutes

The paramedics had already arrived and started asking me questions about the date, place and how I felt. Our neighbors and best friends from down the street had also arrived and I could tell by look on their faces that things were not right. The paramedics quickly got me onto a stretcher and began to wheel me out the door. As I was loading up in the ambulance, I discretely waved at my neighbors Paul and Aimee as they drove by in their “totally sweet” Cadillac (black, yellow brake calipers, gnarly exhaust note).

My kids were already at Sunset High School warming up for the football scrimmage. I had been truly looking forward to watching them play. I was still thinking maybe this would all pass and I could still make the 11:00 event. Probably not very likely considering that I couldn’t even move my left arm nor could talk without sounding inebriated.

Off we went to the hospital in the ambulance with the driver calling out all the curvy roads so the paramedics could brace themselves. I was strapped down well but everyone else was basically loose in the back of the ambulance.

They kept asking me the date and if I knew where we were - when I told them we were about to take the Jefferson Street Exit off of Hwy 26 and that it was approximately 10:35am, I think they determined I was an over-achiever in spite of the stroke and paralyzed left side of my body. Maybe they just wanted me to say Portland and August 25?

40 Minutes

It was 10 minutes before the scrimmage was officially starting and I was about one quarter paralyzed and stuck in the ER at OHSU. The emergency room staff was running about and asking a lot of questions about allergies, current medications, checking blood pressure and heart rate, and discussing treatment options. They rushed me off to have my first of 3 CAT scans. No sooner had I returned from the first CAT scan then they sent me back for two more. The second set focused on the base of my skull and an iodine “contrast” CAT scan which is kind of cool because you get a rush of warm right through the center of your body - lasts about 2 seconds.

During the second CAT scan my symptoms “resolved” i.e. I got better. The doctor was pulling on my arm and testing my strength. As he did this, I got complete use of my left arm and hand, full strength. And I could talk again. I self-tested my intelligence by running through a 2 power sequence: 2-4-8-16-32-64-128-256-512-1024-2048-4096-8192-16384-32768, in 13 seconds flat. Since my pre-stroke record was 11 seconds I felt like everything was probably AOK. Dr. Bozorgchany came back over and I pronounced his name reasonably well even though he told me to just call him Dr. B. I asked him if he was magic since he had cured me just by his mere presence.

Unfortunately, while on the way back to the ER to wait for CAT scan results my symptoms “unresolved” right back to the point of drunk-speak and 100% left arm and hand paralyzation. At this point, I demanded that my friend Kristi start recording the relatively quick changes in the use of left arm and hand. How could stroke symptoms just come and go? Once brain cells were dead wasn’t that just the end?